Pokemon: Soulgold
by Warmpie56
Summary: My parody of Pokemon Heartgold/Soulsilver.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So, one day, I was playing this game for my DS. I won't tll you what it is, but it had to something with battles. As I count down the days til I get a Pokemon, I play video games. Anyway, I was walking along, throwing almost shpere-like items and getting into several battles before I finally got the message I was looking for; the one that can decide the fates of many, the one that could decide weather or not you are still on this Earth tomorrow:

"Friendly Spy Plane inbound".

Then, I heard my mom yell from the kitchen/her bedroom.

"Stryker, get down here!"

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I had always wondered what she does in her spare time; read books, cook, stare blankly into space for all eternity, whatever. The point is, that woman can sleep on anything. Since I took the ENTIRE upstairs to myself like the selfish bastard I am, she mostly sleeps on a chair. I think.

When I got down there, my mom had a creepy, almost mentally-impared-person-like good attitude. It was nice to see her normal again.

"Stryker, honey, our neighbor Professer Elm has something he wanted to tell you!"

"Wait a minute...Is he finally going to give me a Pokemon?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm not sur...Stryker, where did you go?"

I ran to lab next to our house (oh yeah, like THAT'S never happened before), but something made me stop. I saw a red-haired guy near the side of the lab. As I walked up behind him, I heard him say, "So this is the famous Elm's lab..." I decided to mess with him. I walked up real quietly, real Solid-Snake-like, and whispered in his ear, "Here's Johnny!"

I don't remember much after that, but I do remember the cop asking me if I wanted to press charges against him while I was in the hospital. Use your imagination to figure out what happened. A few weeks later (painful weeks, I may add), I finally got to pick out a Starter Pokemon from Professer Elm.

"Hello, kid, are you a boy, or are you a girl?" he asked.

"The hell does it look like?!"

"Oh, so your a girl, then."

"No, I'm a guy. I have all the male parts and no female parts."

I could hear him mutter under his breath, "Yeah, right." Then, "What's your name?"

"Like I'd ever tell you my real name. The nickname's Stryker. Just Stryker."

"Ok, Stryker," he said, "you can have either the grass type Pokemon Chikorita, the frire type Pokemon Charmander or the water type Pokemon Mudkip."

"Number one, you mispelled fire, and number B, come on!" I said. "Don't you have anything good, like Gallade or Dragonite?"

"Look, kid, I'm not getting paided by your mom to hear your bitching. So just pick a goddamn Pokemon, since the shorter I am here, the more kids we can have."

"Fine...Wait, what?...I'm pretending like I didn't hear that. I'll have...Chikorita.

"Execellent choice," he said whilst shoving a Poke Ball in my face. "Now get out and never come back." He forcefully escorted me out and slammed the door in my face.

I took out the Poke Ball he gave me. As I did, I heard a familiar voice come up from no where. "S'up, bitch?"

I turned around and nearly fainted. That red-head was back!

"HOLY SHIT!" I shouted. Not that anyone would care. In fact, my own mother asked me to help prepare the "secret" party after I left. So I took out a switchblade from my back pocket. When you get jumped, you start carrying knives. Anyway, I cautiously walked up to him/her.

"Take a look." they said, holding a Poke Ball. Out of it came aa Pokemon, Cyndaquil to be exact. I didn't have to even think twice before coming to this conclusion: "You stole it?" A slight nod came as my answer. "How?"

"I know people."

"Ah, f*** this," I said. "I going on an adventure out to who knows where. I'll meat tons of friends and Pokemon. And this is where it begins!"

"You seem pretty confident."

"I am. And now I must leave New Bark Town. So shut the f*** up." I then left. I could here him hollering in the distance, "You used the wrong kind of meet!"

You know what, f*** that kid. I'm not getting into a game of one-upsmanship against a criminal, I thought to myself. As I cooled down enough and got ready to leave, I was thinking that my first day of my adventure could have gone better. I already knew from expirence that some days could have gone better.

Or worse.

A/N: 1. I have no idea why I censored the last two swear words lol

2. If you want me to keep going, keep commenting and stuff!


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